"I hope some animal never bores a hole in my head and lays its eggs in my brain, because later you might think you're having a good idea but it's just eggs hatching."
~ Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey
In the spirit of one of my favorite pieces from Saturday Night Live episodes past, Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey, here are some of my own deep thoughts (please excuse their randomness):
I had the final sitting for my shoulder piece tattoo last night. It occurred to me, as I sat there with a needle scraping across my skin, that while getting a haircut I pretty much never want to chat with my hair stylist (although I feel obligated) I always want to chat with my tattoo artist. And it's not because I like one better than the other—they're both nice, interesting people. I decided that it's because the salon is a place for pampering, where I want to relax, sit back, and enjoy it all in silence. And a tattoo is basically hours-long low-grade torture, and I need some conversation to distract myself.
(I highly recommend Tim at Great Whale Tattoo, by the way. Great conversation and even better tattoos! Below are some closeups of my fresh—not healed, in other words—shoulder piece, with colorful poppies and black dotwork.)
The two most disturbing things I've seen recently, in no particular order, are:
Owls without feathers.
This toe situation.
When I turn on the news, I see the president either making up or directly contradicting facts. You know who else does that? My 2-year-old.
Conclusion: Our president has the mind of a toddler.
Alternative conclusion: My toddler is qualified to be elected president, and he hasn't even developed the common sense to tell us when he's sitting in his own shit. He also hasn't figured out, even though we converted his crib into a bed, that he can get out of it without help.
Last year I heard about the cucamelon, a tiny fruitlike thing that is supposed to taste like a citrusy cucumber. It sounds delicious to me, although I've never had the opportunity to try one--yet. But it did inspire me to think about other hybrid foods I'd like to see:
Celarrot: A carrot/celery hybrid with the flavor properties of both so that when a recipe calls for dicing up a couple carrots and celery stalks, I can just buy one vegetable instead of two giant bags of both vegetables that end up rotting in my refrigerator before I can use them up.
Limocado: A marriage of lime and avocado? I'd eat that up with a spoon. And a chip. And possibly my fingers.
Chiatos: Combining healthy, protein-rich chia seeds with the indulgence of Cheetos could be a winner. But let's make them another color besides orange, OK? For some reason I've gone off orange foods.
Dillumber. Dillato. Dillarrot. Basically, every vegetable combined with dill. (Mmmm, dill.)
That's it for my deep thoughts, so I'll leave you with another of Jack Handey's:
"How come the dove gets to be the peace symbol? How about the pillow? It has more feathers, and it doesn't have that dangerous beak."